Just not like *my* baby!
Oh Brady Bear .... another night, another party in your crib. Or make that 3 parties. One at midnight, 2am, another at 4 .... please, Little Bear! Mommy needs to sleep! You do realize that it is YOUR adorable picture that graces all of mommy's massage business promotional material, right? (You remember, that wonderful day when you were just a week old and mommy and Aunt Jenn stripped you naked and propped you up on a bunch of towels, right? -- You're going to LOVE these when you bring your first girlfriend home!)
Anyway ... here's the deal, my little night owl. We're trying to get people to understand about the wonderful relaxing benefits of massage therapy. We're trying to invite them to come lie on a heated table, get wrapped in warm towels, listen to soft relaxation music, ease their stress and muscle tension with massage and myofascial release ... and go home to sleep like a baby. Do you see where I'm going with this, son? I haven't failed with a patient yet! Why oh Why must you offer me my greatest challenge?!? I've pulled out every trick I have for you! I've read every book! I've actually been able to incorporate a lot of the experts' strategies for calming a fussy baby into my massage sessions. Very soothing voice, rocking, ambient music, swaddling with a blanket .... the adults LOVE it!
But You? Well ... here's how last night went. You fuss. Mommy goes in and rubs your back. OK, it worked the first time. 2Am ... You want "up up up" mommy swaddles you in a cozy soft blanket (works like a charm on the massage table) not you though ... "MAMA I STUCK!!!!" OK, a bottle it is then. 4Am ... in my most soothing voice I rock you and sing ... until you take your chubby little hand and clamp it over my mouth (OK, so maybe it wasnt my most soothing voice, but seriously, show me one person who has a "soothing" voice at 4 Am) and so it goes.
So Brady, dont make a liar out of Mommy. No false advertising, OK? Help me out here!
Love Always,
Your *very* Tired Mommy.
